Queer / LQBTQIA+ Counselling
Being queer and having a queer identity can mean different things to different people. Just because you are gay, trans, non-binary, polyamorous, kinky or fall anywhere else on the queer spectrum doesn't mean you can have or will experience the same things as other people who identify the same way. Add to the fact that your identity can be fluid and may shift over time, your counselling experience should reflect that and be tailored to you, as an individual.
Sexuality
Sexuality relates to why you are, or aren't sexually attracted to. There is a wide range of variation, from straight, gay, bisexual, to pansexual, asexual, neptunic, uranic... the list goes on and discovering where you are can be a journey all of it's own. You may even find you think you are on one path and find out you are heading somewhere completely different.
Gender Identity
This relates to your gender. For some it includes Cisgender and Transgender identities as well as non-binary, genderfluid. Others would argue that that being as trans gender man or woman isn't their identity, but just who they are, ie. they don't identify as a man or a woman, they are one.
Whatever your gender, it can be helpful to be able to explore that without fear of judgement or getting it wrong.
Relational Preferences
Relational preference differs from sexuality, in that you can be sexually attracted to someone and not romantically or visa versa. You may be aromantic and/or asexual, this doesn't mean you don't want a relationship and you will still have preferences in how that relationship might look or develop. Some people are also polyamorous, with each poly relationship having it's own dynamic.
Terminology and Labels
The terminology can feel overwhelming at times and is constantly shifting. It may be hard to question it or even use it with fear of being judged. Some people may reject the use of certain terminology as the labels can feel constricting or have negative connotations for them. Others can find the labels a comfort to discover. When talking about labels I am always reminded of the quote, "imagine you spent your life being told you are an unnatural horse, only to find out you are a natural zebra."
Kink / Sexual Preference
Kink can feel like a taboo word in itself, but what excites us is as much of who we are as any other aspect of our identity. Many often think of BDSM or Leather, but this is a tip of an iceberg miles deep. Whether it's praise, degradation, roles or anything else, you may want to explore what it is about that which really excites you and how you can go out and explore it safely, with someone who will accept you in a safe, therapeutic space.
Please be aware this is a professional, therapeutic relationship and not a space to engage in any sexual activities.
What if I don't know?
Who am I? This is a question asked from the earliest person to to highest philosopher. Not knowing who you are, who you want to be or how to even look at that is often the first step of self discovery.
When we take time to look at ourselves, we can discover all sorts of things, from our identity, to how we relate to others, whether this relationship is sexual, romantic, platonic or even professional. We all have developed into the person we are today through biological starts to environmental, social and cultural influence; and it can keep changing.
What if you don't know? Then lets find out together.
So why should you come to me?
It's a great question, and one I would ask.
I am a queer therapist, by that I mean I both work with queer people and I am queer myself. I know that what I have experienced isn't going to be the same as what you have experienced, but I can work with you from a place of understanding. I can promise to be a genuine person who cares and wants to help you with whatever you are struggling with.
If I am honest, it's hard to answer that without falling back on the cliché of offering a safe space that is without judgement, but that is truly what I offer.
Contact me and we can start your journey together.