"I just run so I can eat what I want.", "I'm doing a longer run today as I know I'm going out this weekend." or "I really feel like I have earnt this cake/toastie." These are all things I have heard people say surprisingly often and it feels pretty normal right? Well, for me it did, until recently it gave me pause for thought following a conversation I had with a friend of mine. I will of course not share any details of who they are, but they have said it is OK for me to share their story.
My friend has battled with disordered eating for many years, and though their relationship with food isn't as challenging now, they have told me it is something they are still always aware of to this day. In working with it, they have become more mindful about the motivation as to why they are doing things. One of the things they struggled with was the food and exercise balance. They would go out and run miles, spend hours in the gym, only to be sure that they could eat at all really. They measured out every gram of food, worked out every calorie ingested and then balance it out against energy spent to ensure they were always in a grave deficit, at their unhealthiest they reached nearly 7 stone. Food was then enemy and exercise was the saviour, at least that's how it felt to them.
Every minute of the day became completely enveloped in thoughts about food or exercise, every movement a calculation, every mouthful an evil that must be endured. Exhaustion hit and their body was out of fuel, but for them, it still didn't feel like enough. So they kept pushing their body beyond it's limits, more and more. The only reason they left the house, was for work and exercise, until one day they were out running and collapsed, fainting. they broke their wrist and got banged up pretty badly. It was in hospital they someone finally noticed and started speaking to them about it, and the long slow journey of healing began, but their relationship with food will always be one that takes work.
Disordered eating and compulsive exercise are interconnected issues that can significantly affect mental and physical health. While exercise is generally beneficial for physical fitness, mental well-being, and social connection, it can become harmful when driven by unhealthy motivations.
If we are exercising just to eat, or measuring our calories burnt against calories taken in all the time, our relationship with food and exercise will become one of dread, hate and regret, turning both into demons to battle each day.
For some, compulsive exercise is a way to cope with stress, trauma, or a need for control. It can spiral into a dangerous cycle, where physical health deteriorates and the joy of movement is replaced by obligation and guilt.
Eating disorders and exercise compulsion often develop gradually, making them difficult to recognize until they cause significant harm. That’s why it’s crucial to talk about these issues and know how to seek help.
Recognizing the Signs
If you or someone you know is struggling, here are some signs to watch for:
Exercising excessively despite injury, illness, or exhaustion.
Linking food intake directly to exercise (e.g., “I need to work this off”).
Anxiety or guilt about missing workouts.
Rigid control over diet or intense fear of weight gain.
Social withdrawal or prioritizing exercise over other activities.
What You Can Do
1. Start the Conversation
Talking about these struggles can feel intimidating, but it’s an important first step.
If it’s you: Reach out to someone you trust—a friend, family member, or professional. Opening up can be one of the strongest actions you take toward recovery.
If it’s someone else: Approach them with care and compassion. Let them know you’re there to support them, not to judge or offer unsolicited advice. Offer help rather than solutions, and be patient if they aren’t ready to talk.
2. Seek Peer Support
Connecting with others who have lived experience can be incredibly empowering. In the UK, the following organizations offer support:
Beat: The UK’s leading charity for eating disorders, providing helplines, peer support, and resources.
Mind: Offers information and support for eating disorders and mental health challenges.
HPFT Community Eating Disorders Service: Specialized support for individuals and families in Hertfordshire.
The Laurence Trust: A resource specifically for men dealing with eating disorders.
3. Consider Professional Help
Working with a qualified therapist or counsellor who specializes in eating disorders can be life-changing. They can help you explore the underlying causes of your relationship with food and exercise and develop healthier habits.
Directories like Counselling Directory, Psychology Today, Pink Therapy and the National Centre for Eating Disorders can help you find professionals who match your needs.
4. Practice Kindness and Self-Care
It’s essential to remember that struggling with food or exercise is not your fault. These challenges don’t define you or the person you care about. Recovery can take time and may involve setbacks, but patience and compassion are key.
If you’re unsure whether your relationship with food or exercise is healthy, trust your instincts and reach out. Speaking up and seeking support can be daunting, but it’s a vital step toward healing.
You are not alone, and help is available. Whether it’s a trusted friend, a peer support group, or a professional counsellor, there are people ready to listen and support you.
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