I admit it, I’m a terrible singer, and yet I will still scream at the top of my lungs, especially when driving. And yes, I have seen the looks. One particular song that always gets me belting out off-key warbles is What’s Up by 4 Non-Blondes, an undeniable classic. But beyond its ability to shatter my inhibitions, it also has some great lyrics that, for me, truly speak to the human experience and reflect many of the themes I often hear in the counselling room.
I know it might sound a bit tenuous, maybe even like a pastoral sermon or a GCSE literary analysis, but I’m serious. It really does capture the full spectrum of human emotion.
“Still tryin’ to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination.”
A common theme in therapy is the feeling of being stuck—doing everything “right” but still not achieving or feeling like it’s ever good enough. It’s so easy to get caught in a cycle of pushing forward, striving to reach a goal, that we become overwhelmed by it all. The pressure to keep going can come from different places: for some, it’s a need to feel valued through what they achieve or provide; for others, it’s a form of self-protection, a way to create a sense of safety. The danger here is that the tools and strategies meant to help in times of overwhelm can start to feel like just another task to complete, another box to tick, rather than part of a journey to experience. When that happens, therapy itself can start to feel like a burden rather than a space for growth and self-compassion.
I’ve seen this play out in my own life too. I remember one particularly exhausting week where everything seemed to be piling up; work, responsibilities, social commitments. I got in the car, put What’s Up on, and suddenly, that lyric hit me differently. I found myself gripping the steering wheel, belting it out with such intensity that I actually felt my body relax. It was as if I had unknowingly been holding my breath, waiting for permission to let go.
“And so I cry sometimes when I’m lying in bed, just to get it all out, what’s in my head.”
This is so relatable for many of us. There’s just so much going on that sometimes it needs to come out. Crying isn’t just about sadness; it’s an expression of emotions too big to contain. We cry out of grief, joy, frustration, anger, confusion. It’s a mechanism we don’t always fully understand, but in some way, it’s our body’s way of saying, Hey, what’s going on? It’s a signal that something needs attention—maybe a reminder to show yourself some compassion, an indication that something feels unfair or overwhelming, or even a moment to acknowledge joy.
Yet, so many of us try to suppress tears, afraid of being seen as weak or overly emotional. Why do we resist something so natural? In reality, allowing ourselves to cry can be one of the most cathartic and self-validating experiences. I often encourage people to lean into those moments instead of fighting them, to ask themselves, What is this emotion trying to tell me? When we allow emotions to surface rather than suppressing them, we can learn so much about what we truly need.
“I step outside, I take a deep breath, and I get real high, and I scream at the top of my lungs, ‘What’s going on?’”
Yep, sometimes that’s exactly how it feels; what the hell is going on? There’s so much in the world that feels chaotic and beyond our control. But for me, this lyric isn’t just about frustration; it’s about release. It’s about recognising where we feel stuck, acknowledging the weight of everything we’re holding, and letting go for a moment.
Interestingly, while there’s little scientific evidence to suggest that scream therapy is an effective tool for mental wellbeing, research does support the idea that singing, shouting, and deep breathing can help regulate emotions. Studies have shown that singing releases endorphins and oxytocin, chemicals linked to pleasure and stress relief. It’s no wonder that letting loose with a loud, uninhibited vocal explosion can feel so freeing.
There’s joy, and maybe just a touch of embarrassment, in allowing yourself to be completely uninhibited. Whether it’s belting out a song in the car, dancing down the supermarket aisle (yes, I’ve done that too), or just letting yourself feel without restraint, there’s something powerful in the act of self-expression. Music has an incredible ability to connect us—to ourselves, to our emotions, and to each other. Even if the lyrics don’t mean anything to you, maybe, just maybe, you can find a moment of pleasure, release, or control in dropping those inhibitions for a second and simply asking, what’s going on?
Right, I'm off to warm up my vocal chords and dance like no-ones watching.
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